Raising Autism

An older story I wrote about living with Autism.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013 , Another Day Raising Autism….

Today is just another day living in the world of Autism. I am continuing my story of Raising Autism … and hope that I can find someone out there that relates to what I am talking about.

I usually stay away from others that share the same world as I. Only because of the experiences I have had in my early years learning to live with Autism.

Although I am not the one who lives with Autism. That would be our son Parker. We do have our challenges learning to live like him. Learning to adapt to his world. Instead of making him adapt to ours.

I am not saying that we don’t try to help him live in our world. What we have found is that it is not always the best thing to introduce at the time. Children with Autism and not every child with Autism experience something all the time that we only experience at certain times in our life.

An example: When you give food to a child with Autism and they don’t like the look, the smell, the taste or the feel of it, they will react in sometimes a strange or manner. Trying really hard to make sure that food does not touch their lips. Or that you don’t make them hold it.

While attending a 3 day Autism Conference back when our son was 2, a speaker explained to us what a child with Autism may be feeling in certain situations and described to us the certain situation in our lives that would put us in their world.

Imagine walking to your car in a Parking Garage. Then you hear a noise like someone is walking behind you. You look around and don’t see anyone and then you start to walk a little faster. Your heart now starting to race in fear. Fear of the unknown. You finally reach your car and grab your keys only to drop them. Now you are starting to feel panic. You still feel someone is around you but don’t want to look behind you. You quickly grab your keys as your heart starts to race more and more. You swoop them up and put them in the lock only to find you are struggling to find the key because of the fear you are experiencing. When you finally open the door you quickly get in and shut the door. Then here comes your co-worker banging on your window to give you something you had left on your desk. OMG, You thought you were going to die.

Did you feel it? Did you experience it while reading this? Well, that is what a child with Autism feels whenever they experience something they don’t understand.

Some experts say not to give up on introducing new things to our children. Even if they don’t have Autism. I have a 13-year-old boy named Hayden. When he was able to eat table foods he would only eat chicken nuggets and french fries at McDonald’s until he was 4. Then we couldn’t stop him from eating. Always trying something new and usually finding he liked it.

Back to why I stopped seeking friendships with others that were experiencing a life like me. I do have a long time friend with a strange story of how our friendship was just meant to be. We both share a child with Autism and we can hardly find time to speak to each other. We understand each other and we never tell each other that the other is not doing enough.

We both work hard in our own ways to help our children adapt to our world in the safest manner we know how. She will take her boy out every day and let him take in the world outside. She has her challenges with him. Like one day he climbed through the gates of a ferry boat because he could squeeze through them. The boat was docked and no one was around and there was nothing stopping him from jumping off the ferry. They could not get to him and had to call the coast guard. She continued to take him out even though she had many challenges.

I have had other friends and acquaintances through the years that seem to think that they know everything there is about Autism. They also make you think you are not doing enough. I have met people that think their child is more autistic than yours and those that say your child doesn’t have autism at all. I met a girl that told me that I had to ignore my other boy every day for 4 hours and do nothing but intense training to teach my son to talk. Never worked for her, though. But I do applaud her for trying. The only problem I saw with what she was doing is she was ignoring her teenager that really needed her too.

I would never tell her or my other friend that I believed what they were doing was wrong because I respect everyone in the way they raise their children. Well with the exception of abusing them of course. But it amazed me at how many people can tell you how to raise yours. Even if they don’t raise a child with autism themselves. Your own family and friends are always chiming in.

Today I want to find others that struggle like me so I can share a blessing that was shared with me. Something that I am on top of the world being a part of because I know this has the potential to help all of us. See for yourself

Always remember that you should never judge and just always be there to listen to someone. There is a saying that I believe children with Autism would want you to hear. “I’m not misbehaving. I have Autism. Please be understanding.”

Today is November 21st, 2016 and I want to make an update. This story is still true to this day. My older son is now 17 and is a Senior and Parker is 15 and still not talking but soon will be.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope I helped someone today.

2016 at the RainForest Cafe @ the old Trump Plaza

Come on be Happy. Hard to do sometimes huh? You could be happy every day.

If it’s to be it’s up to me. You make it happen. What you think about you bring about.

Your brain is a powerful part of your body. You may say or think that it is your arms or your legs cause you work out. You may have muscles and look huge and buff but you couldn’t lift a car off someone unless your brain told you to.

What you are telling your brain every day is, however, dangerous unless it is that you are a wonderful person. You are a happy person. You are a successful person.

However, most of us don’t do that. We tell ourselves negative things every day. We can be the happiest people and still be doing it all wrong.

When you see something you want do you say: I will never be able to afford that. I will never have enough money for that. I could never own something like that. Or do you say: someday I will own that. Someday that will be mine. I will be able to afford that someday.

Do you call your friends daily and always say: I’m fat, I’m broke,I can’t afford to pay my bills. I will never get out of debt?

I am sure many of us say exactly that and when your brain hears it everyday IT OBEYS YOU! So you will never lose weight or you will never get out of debt or own that big house, that nice car.

Chances are the only reason you don’t have whatever it is you want in life is because of you. You are your own destroyer. You can bring your life down to the lowest point just by saying the same negative things to yourself.

So come on be happy and quit saying negative things to yourself. My Team has a better day because of these couple of things.

It was just a sign, But it was a Sign…

It was just a sign, but it was a SIGN…

On Election Day the Trump Pence sign that just showed up there that day was stolen from me. It was just a sign but it was a SIGN…

Thanks for stopping by and checking out what I am talking about. I am never a negative person but unfortunate for all of us there are people like that all around us and they try their darndest to bring us down with them.

I am sure we are all thanking GOD that those commercials are over. That the fighting has stopped. That people stop breaking and burning all the Trump Pence signs.

I had two Township Committee runners stop by in the months before the election and plead their case to me at my front door. I had met one of them at my door a couple times before. They are always trying to get me to fill in the absentee ballot and they will come and pick it up. Then they ask me if they can leave a sign. I never liked to leave the ballot with them for as far as I concerned they may open them and throw them away.

Christine Yenner visited me first and put her sign there on my lawn. Mike Pantaleo came to my door a couple weeks later. There was even a freeholder DeMarco Christy sign on the other side of my lawn.

But I never had a Trump Pence sign until the day of the election. I would never even know where to get one. My son and I were going out and I was showing him a photo on my phone that was really symbolic and explaining to him what it means to me. Then he said Hey when did you get a Trump Pence sign. I looked over and said what the heck. How did that get there? Who put that sign on my lawn?

Before my Grandmom died on tax day 2015 we always discussed Donald Trump running for President. We both agreed they would never let him win. I am sad she wasn’t here to see history made with me. But I know she was the reason that sign showed up. She was telling me they were going to win.

When I came back from being out with my son I decided to take a picture of my lawn and I posted it on FaceBook stating that the battle of the politicians is on my front lawn. The signs were everywhere. Even across the street. But no Trump signs anywhere. Just in my yard that day.

I posted it and got lots of likes and comments in minutes including a friend that said I would burn that sign but that’s just me. I answered saying I would probably get thrown out of my development if I did that. But I am sure someone else will do it for me.

Then later I got to say to her don’t worry about it anymore it was just stolen. She said geez that was fast. I said I know who did it and they just lied to me about it. Oh well; it was funny while it lasted.

So here is the sad part about it. It was a person that works for me that had to have done it. She came back to the office that night after a hard days work and said to us so you are Trump promotors. I said oh that sign out there. It’s funny it just showed up today and I don’t know who put it there.

Where she parked her truck she just about tripped on the sign and stated that when she saw it coming around the corner her friend in the truck said run it over. I said oh please don’t touch my sign. I want to keep it. It met something to me and my husband said besides Dawn worked for him. She said so loud You Worked For HIM WOW. Why would you work for that pig.

Back then when I was 19 it was a dream of mine to work for him and I finally got to. I really liked what I did. But that’s another story for later. Who wouldn’t want to work for the most successful man in real estate?

When my husband walked her out to her truck he came back in and said well the sign is gone. I said what who would have done that except for the friend that was in the truck. It was there when she came in and gone when she left and I had a neighbor earlier say to me if you don’t want the sign I will take it. I said Nah I will keep it. It means something to me. He said to keep it and put it away it may be worth something someday.

I called her and said do you know what happened to my sign? Did Deb see anyone come on my lawn and take my sign? It was right there in front of her there would be no way she would not have seen someone take it. She said no she didn’t see anything and I don’t have you sign. I said wow ok that is very strange. But oh well I guess it is just a sign.

After I wrote on my FB that I knew who did it and they lied to me she wrote a comment saying you may think you know who did it but I didn’t touch your stupid sign I would have never dirtied my hands with it. I was so hurt that she disrespected me like that. After all, I do support her entire family with a job. I answered and said I never said it was you. Why would you say something like that to me and why are you starting a fight. She said OMG I was kidding.

All I can do now is just forget about it. I wrote it down for the universe to take it away and dispose of this negative energy. So I can have room in my heart again for people that deserve it.

It was just a sign, but it was SIGN.

Do Angels Exist?

Do Angels exist? I really think so. Before you think I’m weird let me tell you so.

Besides the photo, you see above that I took of the moon one night. On July 19. 2016 the news said moon watchers would get an awesome treat. Besides the beautiful sight of the full moon that night they would never know the treat I saw of the divine.

I believe Angels are real because they have protected my boy for many years.

The story I can tell you of how the Angels kept my son from falling off a roof.

The endless stories of how they brought him back to us.

My son is a flight risk and this is every mother’s nightmare, No matter who your child is. Autism or not the sinking feeling you get when you turn to see your child is not there.

The difference is not knowing where they went so fast to finding other kids hiding in the clothes racks.

Autistic people get a map in their head of where their favorite place to go is out there. And when you are not looking for even a second they might just try to get there without you.

They don’t understand danger or even fear when it comes to getting to where they love to be.

Many children have never come home.

I feel sadness and guilt for why did the Angels not protect them.

Through the years we have tried so many things to make sure our boy would never leave us.

Spending thousands on things to keep him locked in. Not helping us at all because the police were always bringing our son home to us.

Now the Angels are keeping him safe and telling him everyday not to go out without mom or dad. He has been staying in for years now. I believe I owe it to an angel that reminds him he can’t go outside it is dangerous.

The sleepless nights and the worry you have when you are afraid your child will leave the home if you fall asleep to sound. Thank God for alarm systems in your house. They let us sleep at night because if the angels went to sleep and stopped watching him for us the alarm will wake the whole neighborhood.

I am sure many of you know what I am talking about.

May the Angels keep your babies always safe with them.

As for that photo. I believe it is divine. Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds. What A find!!!

Wishing that you all had a Happy Thanksgiving 2016.

We all sure have a lot to be thankful for.

I wonder if the Pilgrims ever had a food fight?

I wonder if they ever said I won’t be there if so and so will be?

I wonder if they ever banned a family member from coming to dinner again?

I wonder if some Pilgrims had no one to spend Thanksgiving with?

I wonder if the Pilgrims had to feed the homeless?

I wonder if the Pilgrims ever had to work and leave their family so someone else could make more money?

I wonder if they actually cooked a turkey?

I wonder if someone refused to help clean up?

I wonder if someone took home all the leftovers?

I wonder if they had parades that made someone lots of money?

Thanksgiving is not what it used to be for sure.

People have lost sight of what it is all about.

This year I celebrated with 17 members of my family.

The dinner was hosted by my Mother who is undergoing radiation treatments after breast cancer surgery.

She did an awesome job taking care of everything and I helped her as much as I could.

I raise a family with an autistic boy.

I also run a company with my hubby and I am addicted to making money online.

Along with having my messy house to clean.

I am thankful this year to still have our dog with us. Misty is an Australian Cattle dog that is nearly 17.

I am thankful to have my Mother here with us and pray she will continue for many more years to have the whole family together again at her house.

My Grandmother was not there this year at the table and it was kind of weird.

Last year we all went out for dinner because that would have been the first year of her not at the table.

My nephew Bryan was scheduled to work at Vans.

Is it that important to buy sneakers on Thanksgiving night.

My niece Brittany living her dream working for Disney so she was unable to come home for Thanksgiving because it’s so important to make Disney a lot more money.

At dinner tonight and all the week before I got to hear of dear friends just about to die. Others in the hospital that may never be at another Thanksgiving dinner again.

I feel for the homeless who never get to be with family.

Yet we are all dreading sometimes to be with ours.

So I hope while you were sitting around the table tonight that you gave thanks for who you got to spend it with.

Thanksgiving 2011 was celebrated on November 24th and here is a picture of one of my boys that day at my mom’s house for dinner while family we have lost were sitting at the table with us.