Wednesday, February 6, 2013 , Another Day Raising Autism….
Today is just another day living in the world of Autism. I am continuing my story of Raising Autism … and hope that I can find someone out there that relates to what I am talking about.
I usually stay away from others that share the same world as I. Only because of the experiences I have had in my early years learning to live with Autism.
Although I am not the one who lives with Autism. That would be our son Parker. We do have our challenges learning to live like him. Learning to adapt to his world. Instead of making him adapt to ours.
I am not saying that we don’t try to help him live in our world. What we have found is that it is not always the best thing to introduce at the time. Children with Autism and not every child with Autism experience something all the time that we only experience at certain times in our life.
An example: When you give food to a child with Autism and they don’t like the look, the smell, the taste or the feel of it, they will react in sometimes a strange or manner. Trying really hard to make sure that food does not touch their lips. Or that you don’t make them hold it.
While attending a 3 day Autism Conference back when our son was 2, a speaker explained to us what a child with Autism may be feeling in certain situations and described to us the certain situation in our lives that would put us in their world.
Imagine walking to your car in a Parking Garage. Then you hear a noise like someone is walking behind you. You look around and don’t see anyone and then you start to walk a little faster. Your heart now starting to race in fear. Fear of the unknown. You finally reach your car and grab your keys only to drop them. Now you are starting to feel panic. You still feel someone is around you but don’t want to look behind you. You quickly grab your keys as your heart starts to race more and more. You swoop them up and put them in the lock only to find you are struggling to find the key because of the fear you are experiencing. When you finally open the door you quickly get in and shut the door. Then here comes your co-worker banging on your window to give you something you had left on your desk. OMG, You thought you were going to die.
Did you feel it? Did you experience it while reading this? Well, that is what a child with Autism feels whenever they experience something they don’t understand.
Some experts say not to give up on introducing new things to our children. Even if they don’t have Autism. I have a 13-year-old boy named Hayden. When he was able to eat table foods he would only eat chicken nuggets and french fries at McDonald’s until he was 4. Then we couldn’t stop him from eating. Always trying something new and usually finding he liked it.
Back to why I stopped seeking friendships with others that were experiencing a life like me. I do have a long time friend with a strange story of how our friendship was just meant to be. We both share a child with Autism and we can hardly find time to speak to each other. We understand each other and we never tell each other that the other is not doing enough.
We both work hard in our own ways to help our children adapt to our world in the safest manner we know how. She will take her boy out every day and let him take in the world outside. She has her challenges with him. Like one day he climbed through the gates of a ferry boat because he could squeeze through them. The boat was docked and no one was around and there was nothing stopping him from jumping off the ferry. They could not get to him and had to call the coast guard. She continued to take him out even though she had many challenges.
I have had other friends and acquaintances through the years that seem to think that they know everything there is about Autism. They also make you think you are not doing enough. I have met people that think their child is more autistic than yours and those that say your child doesn’t have autism at all. I met a girl that told me that I had to ignore my other boy every day for 4 hours and do nothing but intense training to teach my son to talk. Never worked for her, though. But I do applaud her for trying. The only problem I saw with what she was doing is she was ignoring her teenager that really needed her too.
I would never tell her or my other friend that I believed what they were doing was wrong because I respect everyone in the way they raise their children. Well with the exception of abusing them of course. But it amazed me at how many people can tell you how to raise yours. Even if they don’t raise a child with autism themselves. Your own family and friends are always chiming in.
Today I want to find others that struggle like me so I can share a blessing that was shared with me. Something that I am on top of the world being a part of because I know this has the potential to help all of us. See for yourself
Always remember that you should never judge and just always be there to listen to someone. There is a saying that I believe children with Autism would want you to hear. “I’m not misbehaving. I have Autism. Please be understanding.”
Today is November 21st, 2016 and I want to make an update. This story is still true to this day. My older son is now 17 and is a Senior and Parker is 15 and still not talking but soon will be.
Thanks for stopping by and I hope I helped someone today.
2016 at the RainForest Cafe @ the old Trump Plaza
Raising Autism 